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I’m married. I can’t think.Humour

More Quotes on marriage

Some very funny quotes that will last for life time;

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henny Youngman

“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
Sam Kinison

“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
James Holt McGavran

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Every man should get married some time;
after all, happiness is not the only thing
in life!!
–Anonymous

——————————————————————-
An archaeologist is the best husband a
woman can have;
the older she gets the more interested he
is in her.
–Agatha Christie

——————————————————————–
Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It is not fair that some men should be
happier than others.
–Oscar Wilde

——————————————————————–
Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it
cheaper.
–Scottish Proverb

——————————————————————–
I don’t worry about terrorism.
I was married for two years.
–Sam Kinison

——————————————————————–
A psychiatrist is a person who will give
you expensive answers that
your wife will give you for free.
–Anonymous

——————————————————————–
Men have a better time than women;
for one thing, they marry later,
for another thing, they die earlier.
–H. L. Mencken

——————————————————————-
Marriage is a three ring circus:
–engagement ring
–wedding ring
—suffering

—————————————————————-
When a newly married couple smiles,
everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles,
everyone wonders why.

—————————————————————–
Love is blind but marriage is an
eye-opener.

—————————————————————–
When a man opens the door of his car for
his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.

—————————————————————–
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go
for our anniversary?”
She said, “Somewhere I have never been!”
I told her, “How about the kitchen?”
————————————————
We always hold hands. If I let go, she
shops.
————————————————
My wife was in abeauty saloon for two
hours.
That was only for the estimate. She got a
mud pack and looked great
for two days. Then the mud fell off.
——————————————
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am
I too late for the garbage?
“Following her down the street I yelled,
“No, jump in!”

———————————————————————-
If your dog is barking at the back door
and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do
you let in first?
The Dog of course..at least he’ll shut up
after you let him in!

——————————————————————–
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back towards his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”
The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,
“My wife’s first husband

SEND THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH……AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!!

THIS IS NOT THE END,IT KEEPS ON REPEATING,YOU CAN ALSO ADD YOUR QUOTE in Comments below

- Posted on July 4th, 2007 in Humour, Quotations | 8,481 Views |

1 Comment »

One Response to “I’m married. I can’t think”


1. Posted byPriyavrat on November 7th, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Ma! Ma! Marriage

Beta, abhi hui nahi hai age! ( You are not grown up still)

Ma! Ma! Marriage

No ma! I talk about better side of Marriage!

Oh Beta.. it is a Mirage!

No Ma! i was talking about Mary’s age!

Oh! son you confuse me…Don’t let her mar y’r age!

(Priyavrat thareja)



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